Showing posts from February, 2019


He was put away, no need to be scared!?? RIGHT??  Where did I leave off? ........Oh right he got locked up... Don't have to deal with him, now things will get better??? I started working and now I am really having fun, going out with friends, dating. This is life... I was living at my parents house, but I didn't want to be given rules I'm 18 working why do I have a curfew, why am I getting in trouble for little things. I left my parents house again. This time I was house hoping. Till I started staying with a "friend". Great right, wrong!  I had a routine go to work, my friend and her mom would pick me up I was good. I was good.  Until one day my "friend" snuck her boyfriend in the room. I was "asleep" and I heard him come in through the window, they started arguing, and saying some other messed up stuff (really messed up, not my story, not my place).  When I hear him say stop acting stupid or your friend is the one that's gonna


WHY?  Let's just get into it. Teen years continued~When I was 16 years old I got fed up with not being allowed to do anything or go anywhere. Strict parents SUCKED!... So I decided to leave, I wanted freedom (what a joke). I decided to run "far" away (I was 3 blocks from my house lol). I was literally home sick the whole time I was away. I finally gave in after 3 days away, and 3 days with high fever (I said I was literally home sick). I stood home for a few days. Until I asked if I could go out with some friends for a while, and I was told no. I remember walking over to my mother, and telling her I am going out anyway. This was probably one of the times I should have listened to the NO . The night my life started to take a turn. I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED I met someone that night. Little did I know this guy would change my life in a real way. This guy was basically showing me the life I NEVER should have seen, but the thrill of things were just too much to say n


My mixed up introduction Am I a good mother, daughter, sister, niece, girlfriend, friend, am I a good person period? I found myself doubting everything about myself. My self worth was a zero and I didn't know why. I always help everyone around me without helping myself. How can I give good advice to others, and not follow it myself? Well I think I have come to the conclusion it's all about self love.  If you don't love yourself then your not going to care to follow advice for self improvement. Why would you, who benefits....YOU? Ugh I don't really matter... (Echos in my head) I don't really matter!   I DON'T MATTER! I think back and try to figure out where it all started, when did I begin to not love myself? Did something happen? Why don't I love myself? UGH, head spinning question.  Do you ever think back at childhood memories, and have flashbacks of something bad happening, but not a clear memory of what exactly it was that happened?